Jason and Jessica

Birth Story:

Warning: This is the LONG version. I didn't want to forget anything and I haven't edited anything out so all the scary details are included. Enjoy!

- After 12 days of waiting past Audrey’s due date, I was feeling desperate! The night before I’d gone on a rampage to find all the “natural” methods of induction. Castor oil, primrose oil tablets, and raspberry leaf tea. We even went out to dinner and ordered eggplant Parmesan (a southern myth). Nothing worked! I was distraught. It was Saturday and the midwife had agreed to break my water on Monday if nothing happened over the weekend. If breaking my water didn’t work then I’d be forced to go to the hospital and be started on Pitocin on Tuesday.
- Saturday afternoon I called the midwife to discuss what time to meet up on Monday for the induction. We planned on 8:30am, then, almost as an afterthought, she mentioned that another of her patients was meeting her at the hospital that night to get a prostaglandin gel put on her cervix in the hopes that it would dilate her. Since my cervix was already 90% effaced and at 3cm it wasn’t necessary, but it might be the trick to jump starting my labor. I agreed to meet her at the hospital (an hour drive) in about 90 minutes. Jason and I debated grabbing our packed bags and food items for labor, but decided against it. This was just another “something” that would turn into “nothing.” We were both sure of that.
- At the hospital we waited around for the midwife for 90 additional minutes. We were both so anxious and so hungry and so bored that we almost walked right out the door. I had more cleaning to do at home and my mom was scheduled to fly in that night at 10:30pm. I called my mom who had just made her connecting flight and promised her I would NOT be going into labor that night and we'd definitely be there to pick her up at the airport in 3 hours.
- Just as I was about to unhook myself from the fetal monitors, my midwife- Joanne- walked in. She quickly got the gel ready and applied it. After 20 minutes she was done and she asked me to wait around another 20 minutes to see if it made my contractions pick up or if it distressed the baby. After 10 minutes I was in agony. I couldn’t lay on the bed another second. I immediately unhooked myself and ran to the bathroom thinking I was having diarrhea cramps. It only got worse as the minutes passed in the restroom.
- Jason was very reluctant to leave the hospital. He wanted me to tell Joanne what was happening, but I couldn’t think of anything, but being home. Enduring these cramps anywhere else was just unthinkable. I acted like everything was fine and we were released by the hospital staff. During the hour drive home the pain became more intense until I was in tears. After Jason insisted, I called Joanne and described my pain. She doubted that it was actually labor and told me to go home and take a bath.
- I practically ran inside when we arrived home and immediately hopped in the bathtub. The pain subsided for a minute, but then picked up again…at regular intervals. I got my iPhone out and started to time my contractions with my handy dandy pregnancy app. Sure enough- the contractions were lasting 60 seconds and were 2 minutes apart. One minute of contraction, one minute break, I timed them for 45 minutes before I finally let myself believe I was actually in labor. In labor! IT was finally happening!!
- Too bad the contractions were too intense and close together for me to be excited about it. I couldn’t believe I’d actually been trying for weeks to bring on this pain. Jason ran out to grab some chipotle for our dinner during my hour in the tub. As soon as he walked in the door I had him call the birthing center to let them know my contractions had started. They wanted us to leave immediately. Jason got to eat a little of his dinner, but I didn't even touch mine.
- It was then that I started to worry. “What if the baby is born in the car?” “Why are these contractions coming so fast and so strong?” “What if this intense labor kills the baby?!” Jason did his best to reassure me. We grabbed our bags and headed out the door and into a huge thunderstorm. I checked my phone and saw several email alerts for our county- “Tornado Warning!” “Severe Thunderstorm Warning!” “Flooding!” My pain and the flashes of lightening and thunder outside seemed all too appropriate. The drive to the birth center, which normally takes us 45 minutes, extended into over an hour as we drove through flooded streets and bouts of intense rain. Between contractions I tried to arrange for my Mom’s pickup from the airport. Luckily our neighbors- Katie and Connor- agreed to pick her up.
- Just as we were pulling into the birthing center the power went out! We saw three or four large flashes of light on a hill above the center and then everything on the street went dark as we pulled in. Luckily each room had emergency lights that provided a dim glow. The midwife was ready to meet us as we came in and checked me as Jason began bringing in our bags from the car- getting absolutely soaked in the process from the heavy rainstorm outside. 5cm dilated.
- 5cm! I was pretty pleased. That was the first progress my cervix had made in more than a month! I had been terrified we'd arrive and I'd still be 3cm dilated and she'd tell me I was having "false labor." I felt completely encouraged and ready to have this baby! Another couple had just had their baby and we could hear her soft little cries in the background. It was the perfect background noise- we felt so ready to hear our own little baby's voice for the first time!
- After we'd gotten settled in the birthing suite and the midwife had found some flashlights for us, we settled into two rocking chairs- side by side- and started battling the contractions. I'd alert Jason when one started and he'd begin timing and coaching me. Letting me know when it was half over and watching my face and body for any signs of tension. He reminded me to relax every muscle, to let my uterus do the work for me, to ride the pain of the contraction like gliding up and over a wave. It sounds so silly now, but his coaching was absolutely vital to me. Occasionally, Joanne would come in to monitor the baby or see if we needed anything. Sometimes she'd stick around to tell me some story about some other woman's labor. I can't honestly remember anything she said. I just wanted to be alone- in the dark- with my husband coaching me as I relaxed and focused.
- Joanne continued to call the power company and ask when their expected time was for our power to come back on. They kept saying sometime in the morning- I think around 5am or later. She asked them to put us on higher priority since she had a woman in labor on her hands. Joanne told me that if we had no power by midnight that we'd need to head to the hospital.
- Around 11am the emergency lights turned off and left us completely in the dark. Joanne turned on our flashlights and set one in the middle of the floor for us. She said that in a half hour if we still didn't have power we'd need to head to the hospital. But she didn't return to check me for another hour! At midnight she checked me and I wasn't quite 7cm yet. She said my labor was progressing slowly and normally she'd break my water at that point, but since we still didn't have power she'd wait to do it. I was perfectly OK with that! I kept praying so intently between contractions that the power would return. I was swaddled in three or four blankets and was quivering from a combination of chill and the intensity of the contractions. There was nothing that sounded nicer than climbing into the big Jacuzzi tub in my room, but without power there was no hot water. :( Other than that though, laboring in the dark was kind of nice. The hours really flew by and I had absolutely no distractions. I tried very hard not to "escape" from the pain, but rather work with it.
- Joanne continued to come in every half hour and say we were going to go to the hospital soon. Finally at 1:30am she said I was definitely at 7cm and we needed to leave before I progressed anymore. We stood up and started gathering our things while she got on the phone with the charge nurse in Labor and Delivery at Anne Arundel Medical Center to let them know we were coming. Just as she was about to hang up, TA-DA! The lights came bursting back on. I almost started to cry. I was so relieved. Yes I'd be able to have my baby at the birthing center and not have all the unnecessary interventions at the hospital and not be forced to stay 1-2 days and have my baby be taken away from me. :) I was elated!
- I felt so much relief and vigor with the return of the power. I got up at this point to use the restroom and while on the toilet battled a few contractions alone. That was the turning point in my labor. I felt the contractions change and get much more serious. I think I'd finally relaxed enough to let my uterus really get to work. When I got out of the bathroom the Jacuzzi was full of hot water and the jets were on. I slid into the bath and though my contractions continued to be more intense, the pressure on my back was instantly relieved. The water was heaven!
- Jason turned off the lights in the bathroom, sat by the tub, and continued to coach me.
- For the next 90 minutes we were almost completely alone. The student nurse came in several times to monitor the baby's heartbeat. It was lovely. The baby seemed to be doing great too. She was squirming and kicking like crazy. Joanne said she'd never seen a baby so active during labor. Finally around 3am Joanne came in to check me. I was expecting to be 8cm at the most. Wrong! I was almost at a 10cm!! She said there was just a little lip of my cervix that was in the way. I was almost ready to push.
- I felt so shocked. How could I be so close?! I'd heard from so many woman- especially women in my family- who'd gone naturally that the really hard part was getting to 10cm. Pushing was actually really enjoyable and rewarding. And it only took 1-2 pushes to get the baby out.
- I couldn't believe that I'd "made it" through the hard part and it didn't even feel that hard. I felt almost certain I'd have my baby in my arms in the next 30 minutes. I started to feel insanely nervous and lost my focus. The contractions picked up in intensity even more during the next 30 minutes and I kept anticipating the urge to push, but never really felt it. Joanne was outside on the phone with some of her other clients (women who were probably having false labor and calling in to complain, while I was lying in the tub having actual labor and desperately needing my midwife!). I kept asking for Joanne, but the student nurse wouldn't leave to get her and continued to apply tons of pressure to my stomach as she was searching for the baby's heartbeat. She couldn't find it. She'd continue to push on me even as I'd have a contraction. It was agony. At this point I started to groan and moan and really loose it.
- Joanne finally came back and found the heartbeat with ease. I was so mad she'd left! She also checked me again and said I still wasn't quite to 10cm yet. I felt beside myself with impatience and pain and frustration. There is really no adjective to describe my state of mind. I asked if breaking my water would help my cervix dilate that final little bit. She said it was worth a try and got the crochet hook out. The amniotic fluid added to the water already in the tub. It was completely clear and the whole procedure was completely painless. I continued to labor for about 10 to 15 more minutes. I felt like I was doing something wrong. Why didn't I have the urge to push? Why was this taking so long? I started to experiment with "pushing" through a contraction instead of "relaxing" through a contraction. It didn't change anything! I felt no relief.
- Jason tried to be supportive, but we hadn't anticipated this turning point in my labor. Everything we'd read talked about very clear and strong feelings to push. He continued to tell me I was doing a great job and rubbed my arms with ice cubes and gave me sips of water and put a cool wash cloth on my head.
- Sometime during the middle of this my contractions slowed. I started to have 5 minutes between them. 5 minutes of anxiety and then the strongest contractions yet. Joanne told me to "sing it out" so I just absolutely let go. I heard myself making the strangest noises. I wanted to be embarrassed. I wanted to be in control. I remember wanting that in some little corner of my mind and hearing this part of myself saying, "Just be patient! Don't loose your self control. You can do this." But the bigger part of me was moaning and grimacing and saying, "Ah! Get this baby out of me!!"
- Around 4am I couldn't stand being in the tub another second. I was so overheated and I felt like gravity wasn't helping me get the baby out at all! Joanne suggested I move to the toilet. As soon as I sat down I felt like I was in a better position and I finally felt that the contractions were pushing contractions, though the urge to push still wasn't overpowering or satisfying. It hurt like heck. I would bear down and push, push, push and feel her move down only to move back up as soon as I stopped pushing. Joanne said I was doing marvelously- especially for a first time mom. She said my pushes were awesome, but she also said I was being impatient and that I just needed to let this baby come in her own time. But how can you say that to a woman in the middle of pushing contractions and who's baby is also 12 days late?! I'd been patient long enough. To make matters worse, Audrey continued to kick me like crazy as soon as I'd stop pushing and get a break between contractions. I felt like I was being beat up inside and out.
- As 5am approached I felt extreme waves of exhaustion. Every time I opened my eyes the room would spin. I started to say, "I'm going to pass out. I'm going to pass out." Joanne told me, "No. Do not pass out. You aren't going anywhere. Stay right here and push out your baby." She had me reach down and feel Audrey's head. It was all the encouragement I needed. I began to push even when I wasn't having contractions. I decided to take matters into my own hands. This pushing thing had gone on long enough.
- Pretty soon Joanne made me stand up and move to a birthing stool so I wouldn't push my baby out into the toilet. She squatted down in front of me and Jason sat by my side. I pushed even though I knew I was doing all kinds of damage. I felt like my insides were ripping right out of me, but I hit this wall where I knew that if I didn't push the pain would just continue forever and I couldn't tolerate it another second.
- Jason said all kinds of sweet things to keep me going. He commented on her dark hair as soon as he could see it and how much hair she had! He said I was amazing and he was so proud of me.
- I remember the "ring of fire" as her head was at its fullest point in crowning although that doesn't really adequately describe what it felt like. It felt like my skin was tearing like a piece of paper in multiple directions. And it was! It felt like someone was pulling my skin so strongly in two opposite directions that I would explode in two. I was amazed that I could feel so much pain and remain conscious.
- There was a huge relief when her head finally came out, but it was followed by more pressure- less intense pressure- but still more pressure. The student nurse was snapping photos and Jason left my side to join the midwife in catching Audrey's body. Joanne told me not to push and simply let my uterus push the remainder of the baby out. But I didn't listen-I couldn't listen anymore. I knew if I kept pushing it would all be over with and so I kept pushing. I felt her shoulders and her body slip right out of me and I opened my eyes to see Jason crouched in front of me holding our baby!
- He gave her to me. She was so slimy and warm and huge! Absolutely huge! I didn't really believe this was my baby, but as I brought her closer to my face I felt the pull of her umbilical cord. This baby was still attached to me internally! Then there was no denying it. This was my baby. I think I started to say something like, "My baby, my baby. Oh my gosh, this is my baby." At least that's what I was thinking inside.
- Once they'd cleared her airway she began to cry. It was the most beautiful sound. I continued to hold her and the student nurse asked to take a few photos of us. It felt so strange to be smiling for a photo after everything that had just happened. It felt strange, but it also felt right. I felt happy. I felt elated and I didn't feel any pain.
- I stood up from the birthing stool and walked over to the bed holding Audrey. There was a lot of blood. It surprised the midwife and she had me lay down while she began massaging my uterus to get out blood clots and help me deliver the afterbirth. It seemed to fall right out. I think I might have pushed once or twice, but I had this beautiful little girl in my arms and I really don't remember that part being painful.
- I was shaking all over the place though. I was my baby's own "bouncy" chair. I couldn't control all the quivering muscles. At some point- maybe 20 or 30 minutes after she'd been born- Jason cut the cord. Until that point, Audrey was skin to skin with me- chest to chest. She was quiet and calm and we were covered in blankets. After cutting the cord, Joanne began stitching me up and gave me several injections which did hurt. Jason took the baby and for the next 45 minutes I was being stitched up and massaged and given shots. I just wanted my baby and I felt insanely jealous of Jason who was walking around with her. Looking at her, getting to know her.
- She started to cry and suck on her hands and finally I got her back. She latched right on and began nursing. She was so strong! I imagined that nursing a baby for the first time would feel bizarre and foreign, but it didn't. It felt exactly right. Eventually she fell asleep on my chest. Everyone left except for one nurse and I started to feel pretty exhausted myself.
- Jason left to go get us some breakfast. We'd brought some lasagna, but that sounded absolutely nasty at 6am. He went across the street to a bagel shop and got me a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese and veggies and a chocolate milk. It was delicious. Audrey continued to sleep on me while we ate and Jason laid down next to me and went to sleep as well.
- I remember lying there. It was Sunday morning. I could hear the birds outside, but otherwise everything was quiet. The nurse left to let us nap and our room was flooded with the bright light of morning. It felt so warm and peaceful. I didn't feel any pain- which just amazed me. I had labored all night long and now it was morning and I had my beautiful little girl and my husband next to me. We were a family!
- We all slept for about 2-3 hours and when I awoke I was ready to get going! My mom had flown in during the midst of all of this and I was anxious to see her and I knew she'd probably been up all night worrying about us. The nurse was amazing and so kind.
She picked Audrey up, who had pooped like crazy all over me- nasty, black meconium all over my stomach. Ugh! She cleaned us both up and finally took her away to weigh her. Jason and I made some quick guesses and were dead on- 8 lbs 6 oz. Though we figure she probably weighed a lot more than that when she born what with all the poop and amniotic fluid she'd gotten rid of in the last 4 hours.
- Jason put Audrey in her first diaper and got her dressed. while the nurse helped me shower and change clothes. Then she gave Jason and I all kinds of instructions on care for the baby and care for me. I tried my hardest to pay attention, but it was all a blur. Finally she seemed satisfied and discharged us. We buckled Audrey into her car seat and headed out the door at around 11am.
- So that is Audrey's birth story! I am so grateful for this experience. We wanted to have her as naturally as possible and we were able to do that- almost Amish style without electricity! There are some things I would change if I could- like the power going out or the length of my pushing- but most of it went exactly as we'd hoped. Jason was especially great and without his support I never would have made it! I am so amazed how much I love my little girl already. She is so precious and really has made our house a home and turned us into a little family. I love you Audrey!